1. |
sweet 16 sweetheart
03:39
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i found you again
in another body, squeezing my hand
in relentless city heat, we became thirteen tracing
the curves of our old bones under new skin
messy room, i drink of you
like i’ve never had a drop in my life
as a child i dreamed you kissed me and i lost my mind
now i know that girl was right
i love you so much i’ll pretend that it’s working
my sweet 16 sweetheart, slow dance in the curtains
in the flickering light of our fantasy burning
in all possible lives this’ll never stop hurting
you call me again
and i sit at your feet, begging tighten the leash
but it’s months now of pull and release
until the cord slackens, tie my limbs to our tree
in the state park, hate how they talk
so we burrowed a home in your bed
but i’m waking up sore, bugs crawl out of your floorboards
like god thinks our love should stay dead
promise i’ll never do this again
but i love you so much i’ll pretend that it’s working
i’ll do all the dishes, i’ll birth a new person
in the flickering light of our fantasy burning
in all possible lives this’ll never stop hurting
i love you so much i’ll pretend that it’s better
my sweet 16 sweetheart, i’ll love you forever
in the flickering light of our fantasy burning
in all possible lives this’ll never stop hurting
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2. |
enemy
03:38
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it’s almost 30 days since i put the last box down
this apartment’s got more windows, watch the light stream in and out
but something creeps up from the floorboards like its followed me around
your jagged whispers and dagger twisters, dragging me back to the ground
hello old friend, good to see you here i guess
validating all my paranoia, heavy in my chest
you’ll make me pay for your abuse til i’ve got nothing to my name
you made them hate me, cause i was naive
cause i finally walked away
not doing well these days, but hey
most people arent as lucky to have a fully fleshed out enemy to blame
april arrives, i’m 27 feeling older feeling safe
youre on a burner phone, say i’ll die alone, a green text colors me grey
balloons and lace, gotta save face, rot in my brain til im back home
guess i’ll get wasted in my bedroom, sundress crumpled on the floor
hello old friend, good to see you here i guess
validating all my paranoia, heavy in my chest
you’ll make me pay for your abuse til i’ve got nothing to my name
you made them hate me, cause i was naive
cause i finally walked away
not doing well these days, but hey
most people arent as lucky to have a fully fleshed out enemy to blame
cmon drag me down to your level
swear i wont lash out, i’ll swallow it down
and when im full you’ll throw pebbles
from behind a screen and in all your dreams
im still 17 and im cowering
and this twisted power heals you somehow
and you finally feel clean
i wish the world had never hurt you
that your parents weren’t so mean
that you couldve stopped this rotted wheel of pain and suffering
i know that somewhere in there youre more than just some human guillotine
i know you bleed
hello old friend, good to see you here i guess
helped me learn what anger feels like, made me wish that i was dead
you’ll make me pay for your abuse til i’ve got nothing to my name
cause your army’s still upon me, faceless threats, an endless chase
not doing well these days, but hey
most people arent as lucky to have a fully fleshed out enemy to blame
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nina fitzgerald Brooklyn, New York
if avril lavigne had a banjo and ableton
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